What Have We Been Treating as Optional?

There are a lot of things we know we need to do.

Take care of our responsibilities.

Show up for other people.

Deal with the problem in front of us.

Work on the things we’re trying to change.

Heal. Grow. Figure it out.

And somehow, the things that don’t seem quite as necessary can slowly disappear from the list.

The walk just because the weather is beautiful.

The hobby we haven’t touched in months.

The friend we keep meaning to call.

Doing something simply because it’s fun.

Sitting somewhere without trying to accomplish anything at all.

None of those things usually feel urgent.

So they wait.

Until eventually we may realize that almost everything in our life has become something we have to do, should do, need to fix, or need to work on.

Even taking care of ourselves can become another assignment.

I should exercise.

I should meditate.

I should eat better.

I should work on this pattern.

All worthwhile things.

But when did caring for ourselves become almost entirely about improving ourselves?

The trouble is, everything important is never handled.

There will always be another responsibility, another worry, another person who needs something, another part of ourselves we could work on.

So if enjoyment has to wait until we’ve earned it, finished everything, or finally become some version of ourselves we feel better about—

we may keep postponing our own lives.

Maybe that’s part of what balance really asks us to notice.

Not whether we’re dividing our time perfectly.

But what we have quietly decided deserves a place in our lives—and what has become expendable.

The things that bring us joy, connection, curiosity or a sense of aliveness may not look productive.

They may not fix anything.

But perhaps that doesn’t make them less important.

Maybe caring for ourselves isn’t only about tending to what hurts.

Maybe it also means making room to laugh. Wander. Create. Notice something beautiful. Be interested. Play.

And maybe we don’t have to wait until the rest of our lives are sorted out before we allow those things back in.

We might simply begin by noticing:

What have I been treating as optional that actually helps me feel more like myself?

Not another assignment.

Just something worth remembering.

Because perhaps balance isn’t only about carrying everything better.

Maybe sometimes it’s about remembering that we are allowed to put something down long enough to live.

Messy. Bumpy. Possible. - Leigh