What Have You Been Using as Evidence?

I don't think we realize how often we're looking for proof that we're enough.

Maybe it's the number on a scale.

Maybe it's how productive we've been this week.

Maybe it's whether someone texts us back.

Maybe it's how well our children are doing.

Maybe it's how quickly we're healing.

Maybe it's whether someone notices our efforts.

Without realizing it, these things can slowly become more than experiences.

They become evidence.

Evidence that we're doing well.

Evidence that we're falling behind.

Evidence that we're lovable.

Evidence that we're failing.

Over time, it's as though we create an invisible file about ourselves. Every success gets added. Every mistake gets added. Every compliment. Every disappointment. Every rejection.

The problem isn't that we notice these things.

The problem is when we ask them to answer a question they were never meant to answer.

"What am I worth?"

Because when that happens, a difficult day no longer feels like a difficult day.

It feels like proof.

Proof that we're not enough.

Proof that we're failing.

Proof that we're somehow less than we were yesterday.

That's a heavy burden for any moment to carry.

The truth is, the events of our lives will always give us information.

They can tell us that we're tired.

That we're grieving.

That something matters deeply to us.

That we made a mistake.

That we have room to grow.

But they were never meant to decide our worth.

Perhaps the invitation isn't to collect better evidence.

Perhaps it's worth noticing when we've been asking for evidence to answer a question only we can begin to answer for ourselves.

Messy. Bumpy. Possible. - Leigh